Behaviors Commonly Used by Batterers

Behaviors Commonly Used by Batterers to Maintain Power and Control in Relationships

  • Economic Abuse
    • Trying to keep her from getting or keeping a job
    • Making her ask for money, giving allowance, taking her check
  • Sexual Abuse
    • Making her do sexual acts against her will
    • Physically attacking the sexual parts of her body
    • Treating her like a sex object
  • Using the Children
    • Making her feel guilty about the children
    • To deliver messages, threatening her
    • Using visitation to harass her
    • Mistreating or abuseing the children to hurt her
  • Threats
    • Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her
    • Threatening to take the children, commit suicide, or report her to child welfare
  • Using Male Privilege
    • Treating her like a servant
    • Making all the decisions
    • Acting like the “king of the castle”
  • Intimidation
    • Making her fearful by using looks, actions, gestures, a loud voice, or by smashing things or destroying her property
  • Isolation
    • Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, or where she goes
  • Emotional Abuse
    • Putting her down or making her feel bad about herself
    • Calling her names
    • Making her think she is crazy
    • Playing mind games

(from In Our Best Interest: A Process for Personal and Social Change by Ellen Pence)

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